


Hearts aren't bulletproof

by boxofwonder



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: But no major character death, I SWEAR ITS ACTUALLY A ROMCOM, M/M, it features ushiwaka's cow pajamas, superhero au, tw: death, tw: guns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 07:46:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4255125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxofwonder/pseuds/boxofwonder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being a superhero is hard.<br/>Having a crush on your High School rival is hard.<br/>Your High School rival having a crush on your Superhero identity without knowing it's you is ... kind of the worst. </p>
<p>Alternate Title: "We're not going on a painty raid in Ushijima's closet: The superhero romcom"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hearts aren't bulletproof

**Author's Note:**

  * For [talonyth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/talonyth/gifts).



> This '5k word thing' sort of escalated into a 10k beast of a wild ride all in one all-nighter last night. If it's even half as much fun to read than it was to write then I've done my job <3
> 
> This is a birthday present dedicated to my wonderful BFF, the sunshine of my life. Thanks for all the dramatic Feuerwehrautos, emergency pizza advice, AU sessions, yelling and crying and laughter. You're the reason I know my phone battery lasts seven hours before dying and I wouldn't have it any other way <3 
> 
> And a special thank you to Kris and Cloud. Without your advice and patience (aND PLAYLISTS OHMYGOD CLOUD I DONT BELIEVE YOU) this thing wouldn't even exist yet. I love you guys <3

It was one of those days. Ushijima came back to the flat with plates piling up in the sink, Iwaizumi shooting him a warning glare, and Oikawa bundled up in blankets on the sofa, legs drawn to his chest and candy wrapper scattered around him. Of course he was watching _Captain Titanium_ again, a true cinematic crime and the worst movie to have ever made this world a slightly worse place than before.

(Even if the creators would’ve tried, Ushijima doubted they could’ve gotten more wrong.)

Iwaizumi waved him into the kitchen, and despite knowing exactly what he was going to say, Ushijima followed him. Oikawa’s state was a dead giveaway for that.

“He’s been at it again.” Iwaizumi shook his head, exasperated with his friend, looking worried even though he had no idea how much danger Oikawa actually was getting himself into. This wasn’t about sleepless nights and obsession. This was a life or death situation. “I pretty much beat him into the sofa and forced his dumb crush of a movie on him, so don’t you dare chew him out, got it?”

Ushijima nodded distractedly, far too occupied with the pang of unease to care about some neglected house chores. Oikawa had been treading on very, very thin ice for a while now and Ushijima had been terrified he wouldn’t be there in time to save him from drowning once he broke through the surface ever since.

Somehow, all of this had come crashing down today. Ushijima hadn’t meant to do more than a routine check-in with Tendou, whose rare combination of stupid bravery and skills had made him Ushijima’s most valuable companion, someone who didn’t shy away from getting information on the most dangerous organisation they knew of today.

They’d been working together like that for a while - Tendou staying undercover, concealing his low-key powers and existence as that one fucker who slipped past all the securities of the Black Wolves’ computers time and time again. Only today, he’d leaned back in his chair, the look in his eyes intense.

“Looks like they’ve gotten wind of your High School sweetheart’s activities. He should probably stop or it won’t end well.”

Those were about the most horrible news Ushijima could imagine.

This was exactly why civilians had no business with any of the aspects that his double life brought with it. Having business with the Black Wolves required being bulletproof, trained in close-combat and having at least basic knowledge of all possible weapons on top of a secret identity which wouldn’t get his private life and people around him in danger.

Even if it meant enduring the media giving him a name as dumb as _Captain Titanium_.

The conclusion was more than obvious: Oikawa had _absolutely no business_ with the Wolves, and yet all warnings from Ushijima Wakatoshi fell on deaf ears. (And included a lot of rude gestures as a response.) But now that it had gotten to this, if Oikawa wouldn’t stop _immediately_ \- the consequences were too horrible to even imagine.

Since neither his best friend nor his sort-of-accidental-roommate had gotten through to him so far … there was only one person Oikawa might listen to to back off before it was too late. No matter how desperate of a measure it was. This was an emergency.

Ushijima looked down at his bare palm, with no purple glove to cover his skin and hide who he really was from the world, friend and foe alike. More than anything he wished he wouldn’t need it for this, wouldn’t need an entirely different identity for Oikawa to not immediately reject anything he said.

But he’d do what was necessary, as always. He curled his fingers over his palms, raising his gaze to answer Iwaizumi.

“I take it you’ll take care of his parts of the chores then?”

With Iwaizumi’s look of offense and betrayal, Ushijima expected the other man to decline, but in the end he grumbled something under his breath that included ‘can’t believe’ and ‘Trashykawa’ and started on the dishes.

Ushijima went back into the living room to join Oikawa on the sofa for the usual damage control.

Oikawa commented him sitting down with a pointed “Ugh”, which Ushijima gracefully ignored. His roommate had never been known to appreciate educational comments over the movie’s mistakes, but that didn’t mean Ushijima wouldn’t at least _try_ to save his own reputation.

“Don’t say it,” Oikawa grumbled, when on-screen, the fake Captain Titanium crashed straight through a building in his wild goose chase, completely ignoring the damage to the city and all the innocent people dragged into a fight they should be spared from under all circumstances. “Yeah, yeah, Captain Titanium would never. It looks flashy. Just shut up and enjoy the movie for once, okay?!”

“If you do know all its faults, why do you still enjoy the movie?”

Oikawa let his body drop to the side to kick Ushijima in his thigh, grumbling into the couch cushion. “If you hate it so much, why do you insist on watching it with me?”

Neither of them answered each other’s question. Ushijima leaned back into the couch cushions and watched his most hated movie, Oikawa’s feet against his thigh, his thoughts wandering.

_I can’t let anything bad happen to you. Why do you insist on getting involved with something as dangerous as the Black Wolves_?

But he didn’t voice any of it. He could never. So instead, he watched the horrible movie lead send lewd glances at any female rescued - (as if Ushijima would _ever_ do that to one of the victims! They needed guidance and comfort, not advances in the face of the horror they’d gone through) - and eventually fall for a blue-eyed blonde girl whose only role was to scream a lot, get into trouble, and let herself be rescued.

The implications of the girl reduced to nothing but a love interest aside, they’d gone ahead and made Captain Titanium the straightest guy to ever grace the big screen. Which was insulting considering Ushijima never even had the time to find out if he was bi or not - Oikawa had just always been there, from High School and onwards, and occupied all the romantic feelings Ushijima could have otherwise maybe felt for someone who would actually … reciprocate them.

The _Captain Titanium_ movie ignored the fact that there was a human under the suit, someone who’d given up a potential volleyball career to keep the city safe and a lot else on top of it, and reduced all that to something to market to the big masses.

Of course that was how the world worked. But Ushijima didn’t have to like it.

He didn’t have to like any of the impact Captain Titanium had on his day-to-day life. Or the fact that Oikawa would never take _his_ advice seriously … that even for that, he needed to rely on Captain Titanium.

When the movie hero finally kissed his love interest to dramatic music in slow motion, Ushijima turned his annoyed gaze to the ceiling, and almost didn’t catch Oikawa’s whispered words. Almost.

“Don’t you think he’d prefer an equal? I mean, the real Captain Titanium … don’t you think he’d like someone who could help him along? Even as a civilian?”

Ushijima’s heart stuttered in his chest, stumbled with a painful pang. “No,” he answered, harshly, without thinking. “No, he wouldn’t endanger a civilian by allowing them to do something like that.”

Oikawa kicked him again, but very, very softly. “You’re no fun,” he whined, but there was something so sincere to it that Ushijima’s heart ached again. “That’s why your existence is so sad, you don’t even dream.” And then, even softer, he whispered: “One day he might just know I exist.”

_If only you knew_ , Ushijima found himself thinking, finding that his plan had just gotten a whole lot more complicated and … dangerous. _If only you knew_.

He was almost relieved when the movie ended at last, with a dramatic shot of the fake Captain Titanium dramatically proclaiming: “I do what is necessary.”

It had been a sentence Ushijima had dropped during his first real interview, at the beginning of his superhero career when he had not yet been familiar with dealing with the media. Somehow, that one sentence had stuck around as a catchphrase for his entire franchise.

Not that he should be surprised, since the media had managed to make everything surrounding him feel embarrassing to Ushijima.

Action figurines and movies and _posters_ , God, the posters. He had allowed one photographer to take close-up pictures of him once, and didn’t regret that - the man who hadn’t even known how to feed his three kids had put all of them through college with the money. But still, afterwards the posters had popped up.

Hell, even Oikawa had some up on his walls.

How could his roommate even look at something as ridiculous as this trainwreck of a superhero identity with his eyes sparkling like they did and admire a man whose name was _Captain Titanium_?

(Why couldn’t he look at the real person beneath the suit like this?)

No use in worrying about any of this. Ushijima started collecting as much of the candy wrappers around Oikawa as he could, then joined Iwaizumi in the kitchen to do at least something useful and keep his mind from these dumb ideas.

  


\---

  


The night had narrowed down to the space lit by his desk lamp, the scattered papers, streaks of highlighter on his hands and the words, layering and blurring together and burning in his mind, meaning nothing and everything at once. The ticking of the clock behind him seemed louder and louder with each passing second, until Oikawa had found himself reading the same sentence three times over. With a groan, he pushed himself back, tilting his chair so far that Iwa-chan would have yelled at him and possibly thrown something in close vicinity which wouldn’t have left too much of a damage.

“Fuck,” he cursed on a soft exhale, covering his eyes with his hands, and then again: “Fuck.”

Tilting his head backwards, habit made it easy to read the time upside down. Past three a.m. again, and not a single clue gained. The gears in his mind had been spinning until he had forgotten that there was more than the faint bitterness of coffee on his tongue and concepts, ideas, forming and connecting in his mind.

Five hours of non-stop work ... and still not an inkling of progress.

Fantastic.

He put his chair back down on the floor with all four legs, sighing again. Tonight was a lost cause. Maybe he should listen to Iwa-chan and dumb Ushiwaka for once and just allow sleep to try and ease a little of the impressive bags under his eyes.

He inhaled deeply, the hint of the clear night air drifting in through the window soothing his ragged nerves. It smelled like fresh rain and a promise of something that wasn’t the rustling of useless papers and the clacking of the keyboard, something far beyond these nights he spent sitting in front of a 100.000 pieces puzzle without knowing what the final picture would look like while also lacking half the pieces needed.

Oikawa was ready to muffle a quiet scream in his palms when he heard the knocking on the window. Inexplicably polite and soft, almost apologetic in its intrusion. His head snapped around when he saw the glimpse of a shadow behind the curtains, but before he could do more than jump up in his shock, the chair toppling over, the person outside pushed his window open.

In the dim light of his desk lamp, Oikawa’s heartbeat stopped when he saw that unmistakable mask, strong jaw, broad shoulders. White and black and purple more outlining strong muscles than covering them. Captain Titanium. Impossibly close, impossibly real, in front of his window. Suddenly, the realisation hit that Oikawa’s room had more than one poster with that very same hero on it plastered across the walls. Holy shit, this was embarrassing.

And _holy shit_ . This was _Captain Titanium_ in the flesh?! Was he dreaming? Had he fallen asleep on his papers again? Damn it.

He didn’t want to wake up from this. And he still hand’t done much more than staring, his mouth literally hanging open. Clearing his throat, Oikawa tried to save his first impression.

“Uh, hi. Can I, uh, help you with anything?”

The hero’s lip quirked up in the hint of a smile, and Oikawa’s knees may have turned a little weak. Then, Captain Titanium raised his hand, and it took Oikawa’s dazed mind a second to figure out that he had started signing. _Oh._

“I need to talk to you.”

Oikawa licked his lips, automatically switching to sign language himself.

“Why me?”

He couldn’t believe that the hero was actually here. That he probably knew who he was, at least to some extent. That there was something to _talk_ about. The entire night had started turning into the most impossible scenario. Of course Oikawa had pictured something like this countless times (sometimes with a lot less talking involved), but he’d never thought that Captain Titanium would ever actually …

“May I come in?” The hero signed instead of answering, and Oikawa cursed himself for nodding far too enthusiastically and adding to the embarrassment with wild gestures. Captain Titanium, of course, managed to even look graceful stepping through his window and into his room. He looked so … out of place here. And Oikawa felt the rising urge to yell “There’s a robbery right behind you!” and yank down the posters once the man in his room was distracted.

God. A real, actual superhero in his room. Not just _one_ . _The_ actual superhero. Oikawa wanted to reach out and touch him just to make sure he was real. Granted, he also sort of just wanted to touch his bicep in general. Like, damn.

With slow steps, Captain Titanium moved over to his desk, touching the scattered papers with his fingertips, almost softly. Knowing that hands which could stop an actual truck dead in its wake could be this gentle did all kinds of things to Oikawa. Captain Titanium did all kind of things to Oikawa.

He moved as close as he dared, trying to keep his rapid heartbeat in check and to remind himself of breathing, suddenly feeling nervous and naked as the hero looked at his research. He’d never shown another soul, let alone the person he’d admired for ages and also probably had some sort of crush on since that one time Captain Titanium had saved him. Did the hero even remember that? Probably not.

But Oikawa, he’d never forgotten that ordinary summer afternoon. He’d wanted nothing more than to check his bank account and get some cash. But it all had ended with him being taken hostage in the ambush of a low-key villain who’d been running around the city for roughly a month by then. Suddenly, Oikawa had been staring down the barrel of a loaded gun, the hand of the villain trembling with nerves.

One slip of his finger. One slip and Oikawa’s future was gone. No shitty movies with Iwa-chan. No studying. No marriage and kids. No more volleyball no more hopes no more dreams.

He didn’t want to die there.

Oikawa had felt cold. He’d thought _This can’t be happening_ , over and over.

The rule had been _nobody moves or he dies_ after the police had shown up shortly after the ambush began, obviously, since the alarm had gone off immediately.

And then somebody had attempted an ill-advised rescue.

Oikawa had known the guy would pull the trigger. He’d known it was over. But then, there had been the sound of shattering glass as someone quite literally burst through the wide window, and with glass shards raining all around him, Captain Titanium had rushed over. The second the gun fired, Oikawa had already been pressed close to him, close enough to feel his strong muscles, close enough to feel the slight tremor running through the hero’s body as the bullet hit and ricocheted.

Things had happened so fast after that. Captain Titanium had let go of him, attacking the mugger head on, a blurr of attacks. Barely a minute later he’d tied the guy up and handed him to the police. Then, he’d turned around and walked back to him, by then sitting on the ground since his knees had been too weak to support him any longer.

“Are you okay?”, he’d asked, urgent and breathless in a way that made Oikawa feel important. Like he wouldn’t have been just another civilian life taken. Like his life mattered to the hero. With wide eyes, he’d nodded. And Captain Titanium had exhaled like it was the most important news of the day, falling to his knees and pulling him into a loose, almost clumsy hug for a second. “I’m glad,” he’d breathed into his ear, sending shivers all over Oikawa’s body, before he let go, nodded once and left.

Oikawa had never seen him again, not close anyway.

But now, now Captain Titanium was here.

“I never got to thank you,” he blurted. “I - you probably don’t remember me, but - you saved my life. Without you I wouldn’t even be here. And I - I - don’t know how to thank you.”

The hero turned back towards him, his eyes a dark glint. He was still signing, even though Oikawa knew he was capable of speaking, had heard him once. But did it even matter why?

“You can. Stop risking your life.”

Oikawa bit his lip.

“I’m not risking my life.”

“You are.” The hero pointed towards his research. “You’re getting involved with a dangerous organisation. Do you know what happens to you when you know too much?”

Oikawa swallowed, the full reality only sinking in now that Captain Titanium had personally come here, had deemed it necessary to save him from a path that would end up with him being shut up, no matter the cost. Somehow, Oikawa had simply assumed that the hero would keep him safe. Would always be there to catch bullets aimed at him.

But of course he didn’t have time enough to be a personal bodyguard to someone who was far too good at his research.

“They’ll kill me,” he whispered, a bitter little smile to his lips. It was a hollow triumph, coming so close to an organisation’s secrets that they considered you a threat. Worthy enough to send one of their villains to render him silent, forever if needed. Oikawa clenched and unclenched his fists nervously. Iwaizumi, Ushijima, they’d warned him. Why hadn’t he listened? Did it really take a personal visit from Captain Titanium to see such an easy truth?

Then again, could he truly say he regret anything now that his hero was right here, so close, willing to waste his precious time on telling him to be more careful?

“I appreciate your effort. You did it for my sake, didn’t you?”

Oikawa didn’t dare look at him, put on the spot like that. He took a deep breath, then nodded. “I wanted to do my part. Do something, too. You’re out there everyday, keeping this city safe. I know I’m nothing special, but I thought I could … help anyway.”

Captain Titanium moved only the slightest bit forward, but his magnetism drew Oikawa in and made it feel like they were so much closer than before, as Ushijima answered him. “You are. You are special. So I need you to be safe.”

The breath stuttered in his throat. _You are special_. Had he really just told him that? His heart was beating so hard, all that Oikawa could hope was that the hero didn’t have super-hearing too.

“Why me?”, he whispered instead. Because … why? Why did Captain Titanium even know who he was? “I’m just …”

“Your life matters to me. So please stay safe and stop your research.”

The hero nodded, just like he’d done back then, and turned to leave.

Oikawa moved without thinking.

“Wait!” He reached out, wrapping his hand around his wrist. If Captain Titanium would have wanted, he could have easily gotten free. But he hesitated, let Oikawa hold him back. Turned half around to him, a question in his eyes. And Oikawa didn’t have any answer. But his body moved anyway, pushed him closer, made him cup the cheeks of the superhero.

_I’m glad his lips aren’t covered_ , he thought, a ridiculous little thought, when he closed his eyes and kissed him.

Captain Titanium inhaled sharply, his hands flaring up almost alarmed, and Oikawa was sure he’d push him away. Instead, a heartbeat later, he exhaled and wrapped his arms around Oikawa in turn, his lips moving against his, sending sparks of lightning down Oikawa’s spine. It felt like vertigo, incredible and impossible and intoxicating all at once. Oikawa could feel the potential strength hum in the hero’s body close to him, and yet his lips moved gently and with care. Sweet and slow, his hands large and warm on his back holding him like he was the most precious thing in this world.

It felt the same as last time - like Oikawa _mattered_ , truly mattered to a man who had nothing to fear in this world, who was by all means considered absolute in his invincibility, whose day job was saving people. Fame, glory, strength. Someone who could kiss any person he wanted, and yet it felt like Oikawa was _the only person_.

_He probably makes everyone else feel like this_ , he thought, his heart cracking just a little in the sweet, sweet embrace because he wasn’t the only one, he was just someone else. And then the hero pulled him just that slightest bit closer, tilted his head to deepen the kiss, and it felt so full of adoration, so utterly gentle, a small whine escaped Oikawa.

His heart ached with it, bittersweet as it was, kissing back almost desperately. He did not want to be one of many. He wanted to be the _only one_ , wanted to be _someone_ to him. He did not want to wait two years again, forced to get himself into danger just so he could meet the hero again. He had to make this moment count, so it wouldn’t be their last.

But all too soon, the hero pulled back. Oikawa took a heartbeat to collect himself a little before he could open his eyes again, his skin still tingling all over. He missed the warmth of the embrace immediately.

“I -”, he started, voice raspy, cut off by Captain Titanium cupping his cheeks. He leaned down to press a soft kiss to his forehead, and Oikawa’s knees went weak. Then, the hero took a step back and was gone too fast for Oikawa to say anything else to him.

He touched his own lips, warm and tingling, made a strangled noise and stumbled to his bed, where he collapsed on his mattress and curled around his pillow, hugging it to his chest. He muffled a few more strangled noises in the fabric, then kicked out his feet, rolled on his back and covered his own mouth to keep himself from laughing in utter delight.

_One day he’ll know I exist_ , rang in his mind. Ha! He’d shown Ushiwaka-chan! He’d actually _kissed Captain Titanium_ . And the hero had _kissed him back_! Kissed him back in such a way, the memory still sent goosebumps across his skin.

Fuck. He wanted to kiss him again.

Iwa-chan would _never_ believe him.

  


\---

  


“You’re lying.”

“I’m telling you, I’m not!”, Oikawa hissed, gesturing wildly. “Iwa-chan, please!” His tone took on an overdramatic plea. “You’re the only one I can talk this out with but you have to _believe_ me first!”

Iwaizumi shook his head in disbelief, raising the cup of his (absolutely horrible and disgusting pretentious) black coffee to take a huge sip. Oikawa would organise him an IV of all the caffeine he needed for this conversation if that would just get his friend to _listen_ to him and talk this out.

“Literally what the fuck,” Iwaizumi muttered when he put his cup down. “I didn’t know ‘ _doing what is necessary’_ includes _you_ now.”

Oikawa almost choked on his own (much sweeter and better) drink.

“That! You! You’re not half as funny as you think!”, Oikawa wailed, pointing an accusing finger at him.

Iwaizumi threw a napkin at his face in turn. “Wipe that coffee from your chin, you look ridiculous. And, holy shit. So your fangirling has escalated enough to actually _reach_ the guy. Man, who knew he’d be into guys?”

“That’s not the point!”, Oikawa hissed, throwing the coffee-stained napkin back at Iwaizumi’s face. “The point is - I _mean_ \- what does this _mean_?! Does he like me?! Am I just one of many? Or maybe … not?”

Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi for his answer - his friend would be honest with him. Unfortunately, despite his impressive scowl, his eyes were soft. Oikawa’s heart sank. He sort of knew, of course, but … hearing it crushed his last hopes.

“Well, he’s a celebrity. The saviour of this city. I doubt he … well, wouldn’t reap the benefits of his reputation?”

Oikawa took a huge sip of his cup and only put it down when he was sure that his face wouldn’t betray how disappointed he really was with that answer. “Yeah, alright, I got it,” he mumbled, tapping the rim of his glass. “I was just some pretty boy who happened to want to kiss him, so he went for it.”

“Well,” Iwa-chan said, dragging out the vowel. “You’re not that pretty.”

“Excuse you!”

“Probably not pretty enough for that to … have been the only reason.”

Oikawa blinked at him, then broke into laughter. “Iwa-chan! Your attempts of cheering me up aren’t cute at all!”

“Well, I’m just saying it’s a possibility,” Iwaizumi grumbled into his non-existent beard, and it made Oikawa laugh easier yet.

“He _did_ say … Iwasspecialtohim.” Oikawa blurted the words so fast they were almost one, but Iwaizumi still understood, and shook his head again.

“This is worse than High School, I swear. ‘Do you think he likes me, did he say something to you?!’”

“Well, he didn’t,” Oikawa snapped. “‘Cause he only talked to me! Since he was concerned! Can you say a superhero is concerned about you?!”

“Wait, wait a minute.” Iwaizumi leaned forwards, arms on the table, his expression suddenly serious. Uh-oh. “So even Captain Titanium, the hero of this city himself, is concerned for you? Concerned enough to show up at your window? Which, actually, is pretty creepy if you think about it, but that’s beside the point.”

Oikawa tried to look as innocent and unconcerned as possible, which prompted Iwaizumi to slap the table in a way that had three heads of guests at other tables jerk around to them. Oikawa sent them a sweet smile before he turned back around, crossing his arms with a pout. “Fine. So maybe it was a little bit dangerous.”

“An over-the-top suicide mission born from hubris and a ridiculous crush, you mean.”

“Wow, Iwa-chan. I didn’t know you were smart enough to use big words like that!”

If they hadn’t been in a café, Oikawa was pretty sure Iwaizumi would have already flung something the size of a volleyball at his head. Like this, all he got was a glare that would have made other people run for their life. “Besides, it’s not a cr-”

“I will stop you right there before you find new ways to embarrass yourself, Oikawa. _Yes_ , you have a huge and idiotic crush on a guy who saved your life one and a half times, probably. The chances he returns those feelings are pretty slim, but he does seem to care about you to some extent if he told you to stop your research. Which he did, didn’t he?”

“Yes,” Oikawa grumbled. “He might have.”

“So you’ll stop now since your beloved hero told you to?”

“He’s not my beloved hero!”

“Oh, he so is. As for if you’re his beloved pretty boy? You can only wait and see, I guess.”

Oikawa grinned wide at him in response. “Awww, Iwa-chan~ You _do_ think I’m that pretty!”

“I don’t, shut up and drink your coffee, Trashykawa! I don’t have all day! And you pay.”

“So mean, Iwa-chan~”

Iwaizumi threw a bunch of napkins at his face.

  


\---

  


Oikawa took his time to belt Titanium in the shower that evening, solely because it got on Ushijima’s nerves and it was _a lot_ of fun to belt your sorta-crushes name via amazing pop song. He only stopped his dramatic rendition with a towel slung around himself and a hair brush for a make-shift microphone when Ushijima knocked on the door and demanded he stop the singing or at least pick another song.

“I don’t sing, I perform!”, Oikawa snapped back, but he’d settled for changing anyway and dragging his feet back to his room. Cooling down, that’s when the evening had started turning … well, weird.  

Oikawa had shuffled his notes around, not sure what to do with all his data. He’d spent 25 hours a week working on this for the past month. It was too much to simply dump into the trash. Why hadn’t Captain Titanium at least taken it with him? He might benefit from what Oikawa had found out.

So, there was only one option: waiting until he met the hero again and could hand his findings to him. Neatly sorted, of course.

The evenings were too quiet and his head far too loud to lie down at a reasonable time. At least this way, Oikawa had something to do for this last night before he could throw himself into … crocheting or collecting stamps or whatever reasonable people spent their time doing. Maybe he could pick up an instrument and annoy Ushijima in his sacred sleep.

With a sigh, Oikawa opened the window (he wasn’t hoping for anything at all, nope) and sat down to get his notes straight before he could hand them to his hero.

His hero. Captain Titanium wasn’t _his_ in any sense of the word. Oikawa buried his head on his crossed arms and dedicated five minutes to angsty self-loathing before he pulled himself together. Time to get this done.

It took him three hours to sort through everything and file it into different sections, chronologically, of course. People, proceedings, unsolved cases which bore their fingerprint if you only looked close enough. He added all the relevant notes and questions he’d written down, sometimes neatly, sometimes in a hurried scribble Oikawa could only pray Captain Titanium would be able to make out.

(Not that he’d mind helping the hero along in figuring out these notes.)

Another hour later, he’d collected it all in one folder, tons of colourful marks littering its side. He looked down at his work with something like nostalgia. So much time, so much work and effort and so many sleepless nights dedicated to this, and now it had come to an end.

Well, an official end if Captain Titanium would pay him another visit to receive this ammunition in his fight against the Villain Organisation. There had been others before, but nothing of this caliber. Granted, it had been foolish to challenge something so widespread, corrupt and merciless head-on with nothing but a tube of hairspray for self-defense, in the best case scenario of being attacked in the bathroom.

But it _had_ granted him to meet Captain Titanium again, so …

That was when the shadow appeared behind his window again. Oikawa got up a little more slowly this time, smiling already.

“I sort of hoped you’d pay another visit,” he called, belatedly realising the lack of that endearing knock from the night before. The window was thrown open wider, and ice shot through all of Oikawa’s body as he stared down the barrel of the gun.

“Oh, all the better,” the woman growled. “Maybe you won’t be begging for your life then. I hate it when they do that.”

  


\---

  


Ushijima returned home with his muscles aching.

He hated it when he had to bodily stop fleeing cars. It took an incredible amount of effort, even for him, and delicate handling as to avoid putting the drivers in danger from the impact. Especially since there had been a hostage involved. There was barely anything Ushijima hated more than criminals who dragged innocent people into their disgusting plans, gambling with the victim’s life for their own sake.

He’d escorted the woman right to her doorstep, where she fell into her sister’s arms, who held her as she wept. Then the sister had insisted on paying him back somehow, and after Ushijima had adamantly refused her money (that was not the kind of person he was), she’d pushed an entire tin of cake into his arms. At a loss of how to refuse someone who insisted with such fervour, Ushijima had finally accepted it and settled for calling it a night since he could neither just throw it away or keep fighting crime with a huge cake in his arms.

He’d start his round earlier tomorrow in turn. There was no set schedule for him anyway - if he’d keep that up, criminals would just use the unoccupied hours for their crimes. This way, nobody could know when Captain Titanium would strike and hinder their plans.

It was a good system, one that had proven itself by lowering the crime rates of the city significantly in the past few years. The only rise registered had started with the awakening of the Wolves, who provided tools and plans and a selected handful of villains for some of the bigger, badder plans. They weren’t powerful enough to pose a real threat to Ushijima (not yet, anyway), but definitely witty enough to escape him time and time again.

Ushijima didn’t even want to know how deep and wide their influence was getting with each passing day.

He sighed, too tired to worry about this on top of it all for tonight. The tin of cake still in his arms, he maneuvered back into his room, carefully placing it on his desk. Maybe Iwaizumi and Oikawa could help him get rid of it. Oikawa did have the most horrible sweet tooth Ushijima had ever encountered. How to explain an entire tin of cake, though.

He rifled through some excuse while he stripped of his suit, breathing more easily as the responsibility for an entire city slipped from his shoulders along with it. Tonight he could simply curl up as Ushijima, could have breakfast and bicker with Oikawa as Ushijima. It’d be at least a few hours before he had to go back to being the hero this city needed.

He’d just safely stashed his suit and changed into his pajamas when the gunshot cut through the air.

Ushijima ran.

  


\---

  


“At least shoot me through the heart. My face is too pretty for you to blow it away,” Oikawa told the woman, his hands up almost reflexively. He was impressed with himself. His voice didn’t waver. His expression seemed calm to him. Only inside his heart was beating so hard it hurt. Nausea came in small waves, getting higher and more insistent with each breath he took.

It was too fucking late already. All of Captain Titanium’s warnings in vain. And Iwa-chan would kill him if Oikawa died here now.

He bit his lip. Fuck. Iwa-chan.

“Oh, I’m sure Captain Titanium thought the same.” The woman still pointed the gun at him, scary in how casual she handled it, and stepped over to run her fingers over the folder. Oikawa grit his teeth, fighting the urge to snap at her not to touch it. “I doubt you’ve come very far in your childish attempt to get information on us. We might have been happy with just taking the documents. But isn’t it much more beautiful to hit him right where it hurts?”

Oikawa forced a laugh. It almost hurt his throat. “Hit him where it hurts? What, with me? Yeah, sure.” He shrugged, spreading his hands wide in a gesture much more confident and casual than he felt. With her attention on his hands, he subtly started working off one of his house shoes, all while his mouth kept babbling and babbling to buy some time. “He made out with me once so of course I _matter_ to him now. Let me tell you something, he’s not even that good of a kisser. I’m sure all the others were disappointed, too.”

Lies. Best kiss of Oikawa’s life, and he’d kissed some pretty boys and girls and other people alike. But he didn’t have to rub that in the face of a trigger happy killer here to put a bullet or more through him.

She actually laughed. “Oh, sweety. You’re not fooling anyone. We keep pretty close tabs on him and his ridiculous little policy to save this world. His presence is quite a nuisance to us, as you might imagine. He never looks at anyone twice. And then he comes climbing through your bedroom window to snog your face off? Yeah, sure, you’re nobody to him.”

Great. So Oikawa got to hear that maybe he meant something to his crush about five minutes before his death. What great fucking timing.

“Anyways, you’re talking too much and I don’t have all evening. Say goodbye, Oikawa Tooru.”

“Goodbye,” he hissed, kicking out to fling his shoe at her face, then turned on his heel and sprinted out of his room. Behind him, her gun fired, but he kept running, only thinking after a few more steps _huh, guess she didn’t hit me_. His heart was still beating. He hadn’t thought much further than this, unsure where to run, where to hide. Hopefully the gun had woken Ushijima and he’d safely stay in his room, but call the police.

_They can probably scrape up what’s left of me when they arrive_ , Oikawa thought, freezing when the woman advanced on him again, gun still at the ready as if it was an extended part of her arm. She scoffed.

“Nice little stunt. It’s over now, you flimsy bastard.”

“I still have a second shoe.” Apparently the woman didn’t appreciate how hilarious Oikawa was. Iwa-chan had always told him if Oikawa would get murdered it’d be with some dumb line on his lips that’d make someone pull the trigger on him.

Iwa-chan … Oikawa couldn’t leave his best friend behind. Even Ushijima would probably mourn him to some extent. And blood splattered all over his walls certainly wouldn’t do for his standards of cleanliness.

Oikawa couldn’t die here.

But he would.

The woman’s hand tightened around her gun, and Oikawa regret that he hadn’t told Iwa-chan how much he appreciated him, not straight-up at least. He’d never told that Ushijima was actually quite tolerable, and that getting into fights over Captain Titanium with that asshole was actually kind of hilarious to him. He hadn’t called his mom in over a month. He hadn’t seen Takeru in two weeks.

He’d never get to see their faces again. And it was fucking horrible.

And then the door of Ushijima’s door burst open, and something even worse happened. His roommate’s voice cracked as he called his name, and the woman swiveled her gun to hit the man running towards him first. “No!”, Oikawa screamed, he would _not_ get Ushijima involved in the mess he had caused.

They sort of ended up sprinting towards each other, Oikawa determined to push Ushijima out of the way and Ushijima no doubt intending the same with him. The gun fired again, but Oikawa couldn’t see anything but Ushijima wrapping his arms around him and pushing him to the ground with so much force, it knocked all breath from his lungs. His roommate instinctively covered him with his entire body, and out of the corner of his eyes, Oikawa could see the gun pointed at his back, then it fired four times in quick succession. With a muffled scream he clung to Ushijima as if that could save the man covering him, and then there was another scream from the direction of the woman.

Everything happened way too fast. The woman toppled over for some reason, the gun clattering to the floor. Ushijima pushed himself up, and Oikawa followed immediately, frantically searching his back for bullet wounds and blood loss which would kill him in a few seconds. But there was nothing than a few scorch marks burned into his pajama shirt. A pajama shirt with tiny cows on it. Fucking cows.

With trembling fingers Oikawa touched one of the scorch marks and the unscathed skin underneath. Somehow he didn’t think Ushijima’s shiver had anything to do with pain.

“What happened,” Oikawa breathed. “The woman, she -”

Ushijima got up to his feet, walking over to kneel down next to her. Oikawa wanted to run after him and pull him back from doing something so dangerous, when he saw the blood and froze.

“She’s dead,” Ushijima said, his voice grave.

“No way,” Oikawa whispered. “That’s - that’s impossible! _She_ was the one behind the trigger!”

“One of the bullets might have ricocheted back from the kitchen. She had poor aim. That’s what cost her life.”

But she hadn’t shoot into that direction. She had shot at Ushijima. Oikawa had _seen_ it. And poor aim?! Not the way she held that gun. She had seemed far too professional for that. Ushijima got back up, seemingly calm in the face of a woman bleeding out on their carpet seconds after she had tried to _shoot them_.

“Are you okay?”, he asked Oikawa, only his voice finally betraying how upset he was.

And then, something in Oikawa’s mind clicked. He made the connection to that question two years ago, the very same. Oikawa’s mouth fell open as all the pieces fell together, the picture too grand and confusing and unbelievable to fully grasp it yet.

“The bullets. They didn’t ricochet off the kitchen. They ricocheted off _you_.”

Ushijima raised his eyebrows, poker face still in action. “You must be in shock to be fantasizing like this. We should call an ambulance. In fact, we should call the police, too. There _is_ a corpse in our flat.”

“You’re … you’re …”

“Just your roommate. Oikawa, take a deep breath. You’re imagining things.”

Oikawa pointed a trembling finger at him. “I s-saw it! She …”

“She fired and missed me. I knocked you to the ground and she fired around wildly, which was her mistake. Your head hit the ground pretty hard. You probably have a concussion. Come on.” Ushijima grasped his wrist, and Oikawa let himself be led into the kitchen, his mind still working wildly. Even with a concussion, Oikawa knew what he’d _seen_. And none of what Ushijima told him was true. He looked down at his wrist in Ushijima’s grasp, suddenly very vividly remembering how Oikawa had captured a wrist last night, leaned in and ...

_Holy shit_ . Had he actually kissed _Ushiwaka_ ?! Wait, if Ushijima really _was_ him … hadn’t he heard all the times Oikawa had ranted about him, how admirable and attractive he was? They’d gotten into actual fights over this. One time Oikawa had thrown an action figure at Ushiwaka.

On top of the shock and the bleeding body in their living room, suddenly Oikawa was embarrassed beyond reason. This was horrible. This was a _catastrophe_.

“Please tell me you’re not him,” he whimpered.

“Your concussion must be worse than I thought,” was Ushijima’s dry answer. He made him sit down in the kitchen, flipping the kettle on before he made the first call.

“I’m sorry to disturb you this late. Listen, there’s been a situation … yeah … unfortunately … actually for once I agree with all your curse words … she got killed in the process, so there’s no need for you to … yes, that would be amazing. He’s beyond confused. I’m calling an ambulance, too, he hit the ground when I knocked him out of the way, you probably can’t take anything he says seriously … thanks, see you then.” Then, Ushijima turned back to him. “Iwaizumi will be here in a second. And I put five spoons of sugar in this tea which might very well kill you.”

Oikawa wrapped his hands around the offered mug gratefully, squinting at Ushijima’s back as he called the ambulance next. “ _You probably can’t take anything he says seriously_ ” , huh? That didn’t help with Oikawa’s suspicions at all. Then, he looked harder. Was Ushijima’s body the one he’d seen beneath the suit? It didn’t help that he preferred loose clothing so much. But, he _was_ pretty muscular. To melt over, if he wasn’t so annoying.

Was Ushijima Captain Titanium?

Holy shit.

“The police are on their way, too. How are you doing? Are you feeling nauseous?”

Oikawa glared up at Ushijima. _Only because I might’ve kissed you and enjoyed it_.

“I’m feeling fine. I have no concussion and I know you’re talking bullshit. She didn’t fire wildly. She aimed at your back and fired as many times as she could, intent on killing us both. I’m not an idiot, Ushiwaka-chan.”

“You’re not,” the other man confirmed, nudging his cup a little closer. “You’re just injured. Drink your tea and catch your breath before everyone arrives. It’s gonna be a long night.”

Oikawa took a sip of his tea just because he needed some sugar on his tongue for this talk. His hands were still trembling and he felt about ready to start screaming hysterically and not stop for at least an hour.

“I’m not injured. You shielded my head with your hand. As if you’re used to tackle people out of gunfire.”

“It was a reflex. Someone pointed a gun at you, for whatever reason.”

OIkawa narrowed his eyes at him. “Oh, you know the reason.”

“I don’t, but enlighten me. I would really like to know why a maniac with a gun almost killed us both.”

“Because I mean something to Captain Titanium,” Oikawa said, boldly, studying Ushijima’s face for any reaction. Unsatisfied when he found nothing.

“So you’ve been in a secret relationship this whole time and didn’t tell me? I’m wounded. I thought we’re the kind of roommates who could tell each other that stuff.”

“Don’t fuck with me,” Oikawa demanded, anger rising. He might’ve kissed Ushijima last night, he might have embarrassed himself in front of his crush countless times, _Ushiwaka-chan of all people might turn out to be his crush_ . He needed to _know_ . “You were here last night. _That’s why you didn’t use your voice!_ And you _knew_ I’d understand sign language. That’s not the status quo for most people. But you know about Takeru! _That’s why you know such a freakish amount of languages!_ Because Captain Titanium believes a hero needs to be able to reassure _everyone_! Because .... you believe in that.”

He stared down at the table, shocked by the direction his thinking out loud had taken.

“You … you …you _saved me_ , back then. That’s why it felt like you already cared about me. ‘Cause you _do_. You know me. You … you kissed me back last night.”

Oikawa slowly raised his gaze, terrified to see a positive answer to all his questions in the eyes of a person he had found tolerable at best for the longest time. Oikawa hated how proper Ushijima was, but he loved it about Captain Titanium. How genuinely _good_ he was. Always working so hard, trying his best.

Just like Ushijima.

Holy. Shit.

But his roommate only stared at him blankly, for a long, long time. “You hit your head,” was his only answer. “You’re babbling non-sense.” Then the doorbell rang and he slid out of his chair and left Oikawa alone in the kitchen, feeling at loss and embarrassed for being wrong, while a tiny voice whispered _you’re not, you saw the bullets jump off him. You saw the scorch marks!_

The scorch marks. They were proof enough!

“You fucking _dumbass_ , I _swear_ , I’m going to _kill you_!”

Iwaizumi rushed in, frantic, and Oikawa couldn’t react before he was pulled into the fiercest, tightest hug. “You bastard, Tashykawa. You horrible, trashy bastard,” Iwa-chan whispered into his hair, his voice tight with what sounded like he was fighting tears. Oikawa’s throat closed up. The true horror of the situation suddenly came crashing back down on him, and he allowed himself to sink into the embrace weakly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into Iwa-chan’s shirt. “I’m sorry.”

“I told you you’d get yourself killed!”

“I know.”

“I hate you!”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t! I fucking _love you_ and trust me I’ve loathed myself for that since we were kids and you don’t just get to _die on me_ , you hear me?!”

“Well, you’re shouting into my ear,” Oikawa mumbled. “So of course I hear you.” And then he started crying.

  


When Ushijima came back, it was with medics and police officers who he mostly tried to keep away from Oikawa. There was no trace of his ridiculous cow pajamas anywhere, and Oikawa slowly did start questioning himself. Since Ushijima insisted on his concussion, after some questions by the police Oikawa was taken to the hospital, Iwa-chan joining him on the ride.

Ushijima didn’t say anything else to him about the things Oikawa had told him in the kitchen. He simply told him to be safe and get well soon, looking tired and vulnerable.

Oikawa felt horrible for leaving him on his own to deal with the mess this night had left. But he had no choice. And in a way, he was grateful to get away from the scene of the horror. Iwaizumi held his hand without question or comment, and Oikawa closed his eyes against the scenery drifting by outside.

He was beyond tired.

  


\---

  


Ushijima started eating the cake after he’d carried the carpet down into the trash.

It hadn’t been his first time when there had been casualties during an ambush. In a way, it had solved the problem of someone uncovering his identity and bringing everyone around him in danger, no matter how horrible it sounded.

But Oikawa … Oikawa had realised the truth. Oikawa had been ambushed because Ushijima couldn’t resist him for one second, because he hadn’t pushed him away when it was necessary. One kiss, and he had almost killed the person he loved with it.

Besides, Oikawa _wouldn’t want_ to kiss him in the first place. He’d kissed Captain Titanium, the image of someone Oikawa would have never expected to be his hated roommate. All of this was a horrible mess and his own fault, and Ushijima couldn’t think of anything better to do than eat this chocolate cake.

What was he supposed to do?

Move out, of course. Cut most of his ties with Oikawa. Better yet, all of them. Avoid him as Captain Titanium forever while also keeping a close eye on him, until people would realise that he actually didn’t mean anything to him. Until the danger blew past for Oikawa.

That Oikawa did mean the world to him was besides the point. Now more than ever Ushijima needed to protect his identity to keep everyone else safe.

They wouldn’t stop at anything to hurt Captain Titanium, their worst enemy. So what Ushijima had to do was stop getting attached to anyone. Caring about people only brought them suffering. It wouldn’t stop at Oikawa, too. What if he dragged Iwaizumi into this? Why had Ushijima ever expected making and keeping civilian friends was something he could pull off without causing such a clusterfuck of a deathtrap for them?

He’d better start arranging things right this instant. The faster he left Oikawa’s life, the better.

  


\---

  


“Maybe you do have a concussion.”

“There were scorch marks on his _pajamas_ , Iwa-chan! I saw them! I touched them! I’ll drag his pajamas out of his closet if I have to to prove it to you!”

“We’re not going on a panty raid in Ushijima’s room.” Iwaizumi sighed, pinching his nose. “Saying it’s not just your concussion and almost-death speaking. Hypothetically. Ushijima with a secret identity as a superhero?”

“Is it really that hard to believe? Have you ever actually seen him on the campus? And remember when we joked about how Japan’s Ace didn’t feel any pain obviously when he didn’t even flinch after he hit his toe?”

“Maybe that’s just his poker face. Besides, that’d mean that Ushijima actually was … _oh_.”

“Oh? What oh!” Oikawa sat up in his bed, careful not to jostle his IV. “What does ‘Oh’ mean, Iwa-chan!”

Iwaizumi talked very, very slowly, not looking at him but instead focusing on a point on the crisp hospital sheet. “That’d mean that … Ushijima was actually in love with you for quite a while. Or, at least crushing on you.”

“That’s hilarious, Iwa-chan. He doesn’t even like me.”

Iwaizumi just stared at him. “You’re kidding me, right? You seriously haven’t noticed? Hell, even _I_ did. And people _tell me_ I’m _dense_ . The way he looks at you? Have you really never _noticed_? I thought you were simply not interested. You’re the one who doesn’t really like him.”

Oikawa felt floored. _Again_.

“You’re kidding me. Ushiwaka-chan?!”

“ _Yes_. God! It’s not like he was subtle. He even kept watching that trashy movie with you no matter how much he hated it. Wait … that would actually explain why he hates it so much, I guess. Isn’t he always really peeved about the love interest, too?” Iwaizumi waggled his eyebrows. “Maybe he wants it to be you.”

“Shut up! This is ridiculous.”

“No, it actually makes sense. That’s why Captain Titanium kissed you back. Cause it was actually Ushijima. A guy who’s been into you since High School, probably.”

“But I didn’t kiss _Ushijima_! I kissed … Captain Titanium.”

“Congrats, Trashykawa, you’ve mentioned it about fifty times and it has barely been 24 hours. The question is: would you still want to kiss him when he’s Ushijima? Hypothetically speaking.”

Iwaizumi watched him, his eyes serious. Oikawa wondered whether Iwa-chan actually cared about Ushiwaka’s feelings.

“We don’t _know_ that he’s really Captain Titanium,” Oikawa whined, covering his face. It was consistently looking more and more like he was and it was _horrible_.

“There’s a possibility. You need to find an answer to your question before you confront him again.”

“He won’t tell me anyway. So how am I supposed to know for sure? I will never …” Oikawa hesitated, the answer suddenly clear to him. “Aw, fuck. Aw, c’mon.”

“Do you have a concussion after all or what just happened?”, Iwaizumi asked.

“I have to kiss him again. And see if it feels the same. Ew, I have to kiss Ushiwaka-chan.”

“You probably already did.”

“Gross, Iwa-chan!”

“It didn’t sound that gross when you were still fawning over him yesterday, Oikawa. For real. Don’t rush into this. There’s feelings on the line, okay? And I don’t want either of you brick headed dumbasses to get hurt.”

“You can actually be adorable, Iwa-chan~”

“I _will_ punch you.”

“Rude, I’m in the hospital!”

“Great, then we won’t even have to call an ambulance.”

“Meeaaaan, you’re so mean! I got shot today!”

“ _Almost_ , you drama queen. How convenient that your superhero was there to save you.”

Oikawa flung his head back into the pillow and groaned.

  


\---

  


Ushijima had packed his most important belongings by the time Oikawa returned home, much earlier than Ushijima would’ve hoped. Best case, they wouldn’t have seen each other again.

“Guess who’s still alive!”, Oikawa called cheerily. “And I picked up food on my way back!”

“Well, you’ll have to eat it alone. But it’s good to see you doing well.”

Good to see you doing well. Ushijima wanted to crush him in a hug and listen to his heartbeat until he’d stop fearing that next time, he’d be too late. That next time, they’d lose Oikawa. But to prevent that from happening, he had to distance himself.

It was the best for everyone involved.

Oikawa froze where he stood when he saw the boxes, the door to Ushijima’s room open and quite clearly showing that Ushijima had no intention to keep on living here. His suit already was over at Tendou’s house, where he’d live until he could find a new apartment.

“What the hell are you doing.”

“I’m moving out.”

“You’re kidding me.” Oikawa slammed the bag he was carrying on the table. “Why the hell would you be leaving?”

“Maybe I don’t feel safe in this flat anymore.”

“Oh, and you want to just leave me alone here? Charming, Ushiwaka-chan. Charming.”

Ushijima tried to ignore him, but froze when Oikawa added: “That’s not very Captain Titanium of you.”

“Maybe you should go back to the hospital,” Ushijima answered, his voice tight. Oikawa was way too smart for him to shake him off with something like this. But what else was Ushijima meant to do? ‘Yeah, you’re right, I’m him. Sorry I almost killed you, I’ll be leaving your life now.’

Oikawa walked around the table, standing in front of him. Ushijima made sure not to look up. He couldn’t bear meeting his gaze now, terrified that he would give in and crumble after all.

“Maybe you should drop the clumsy charade. I could try to stab you with a knife right now and the only thing breaking would be the blade and my wrist.”

This was easier ground to navigate on. Ushijima got up to his feet, feeling a little better thanks to the few centimeters he had on Oikawa. “Do go ahead. Maybe I could go back to the hospital in your stead and you can check out police custody.”

Oikawa met his gaze head on, his eyes flashing with irritation. He was so stupidly beautiful like that, Ushijima wanted to bury his hands in his hair and kiss the anger off his face. It was honestly for the better to stop being around him. Maybe he’d finally get over his crush, eventually.

“Stop fucking around, Ushijima. I know what I saw. You’re Captain Titanium. That’s why you pick the movie apart and argue like you know better. Because you do. That’s why you knew about my research. That’s why you paid me a visit as him. I wouldn’t listen to you or Iwa-chan. But you knew I’d listen to Captain Titanium. I didn’t hit my head! All your instincts are made for situations such as yesterday’s!”

Oikawa’s rant gained more and more heat, obviously infuriated with the fact that Ushijima did not let his expression waver even once. Deep down, something tore his insides apart. But his appearance didn’t give away a hint of his suffering and unease.

Even with a mask, it was quite the useful skill to have in his field.

Oikawa reached out, fisted his hands in his shirt. “Answer me! Fucking _say something_!”

Ushijima licked his lips.

“You’re wrong on so many levels, I don’t quite know what to answer you.”

Something like a muffled, frustrated scream escaped Oikawa. And then he yanked Ushijima forwards and into a kiss. Unlike the last time it was rough and hard and demanding, demanding an answer Ushijima had refused him. And beneath those soft, full lips, Ushijima’s resolve crumbled once more. One second he tried to get away, the next he was cupping Oikawa’s cheeks, answering with fervour in a talk which was finally devoid of lies. Oikawa answered with a soft little gasp, as Ushijima put all of it into the touch - his terror, his fear of losing Oikawa, his adoration and his resolve, too. He was too grateful for Oikawa to be safe, warm and so alive, cheeks flushed and eyes blazing. He could not risk this precious life.

He could not.

“I can’t,” he breathed, as he pulled back, forcing his hands to gently push Oikawa away. “I can’t.”

“You’re him,” Oikawa whispered, eyes glazed over but gaining their sharp glint again, and fast. “You’re really Captain Titanium.”

“Don’t you understand?”, Ushijima whispered, choked up with all the possibilities which were not meant to be, all the chances not granted to him. Yet another sacrifice for the greater good. When would he get to catch a break? When would he be allowed an inkling of happiness beyond the satisfaction of saving people? “My mere existence is dangerous to you. My affection will only bring you suffering. It already almost killed you.”

Oikawa shook his head. “You saved me.”

“Without me you wouldn’t have needed to be saved in the first place.”

“So what?” Oikawa spread his arms. “The damage is done, isn’t it? They sort of _know_. What do you think will happen if you leave now? When we’re still living together it’ll be much easier to watch over me. Like this you’re leaving me behind with a target on my back.”

Ushijima had to fight hard to keep his resolve.

“I will not let anyone further harm you. Precautions have been taken. You will be safe, and after a while, they will forget about you.”

With just one step, Oikawa was impossibly close again, his eyes piercing, daring him to dodge the truth any longer, to try and see how far it’d get him. “But you won’t, will you? You won’t forget about me.”

Ushijima swallowed, refusing to answer anything to that.

“Do you love me, Ushiwaka-chan?”

“Does it really matter?”, he shot back. It had never really mattered. Maybe the only reason Ushijima still clung to his feelings was nostalgia. They’d been a part of his life for so long, he would probably feel lonely without them. That didn’t mean that he planned to ever act on them. It was obvious that Oikawa didn’t feel the same for him. “You kissed Captain Titanium, not me. I’m sorry I let you. What I did was … wrong.”

“But you are Captain Titanium. So it _was_ you.” Oikawa’s words kept gaining momentum, and Ushijima felt backed into a corner.

“You didn’t know.”

“I do now,” Oikawa told him without batting an eyelash. His expression was unreadable to Ushijima.

“Does it really matter?”, he repeated. Because it didn’t.

“Well, let’s see~” Oikawa tapped his chin. “I guess a first date in the suit would be pretty exciting, but would call the media to attention. So, yeah. It’d be easier to go out with you, not Captain Titanium. I’d say it does matter, don’t you think?”

What was he even talking about? Oikawa couldn’t be serious right now. “Are you hearing yourself?”

“Oh, Ushiwaka-chan,” Oikawa sighed, coming ever closer, leaning up to him until their lips were almost brushing. Ushijima could feel his breath on his own as the other man spoke. “Are you really this dense?” Oikawa leaned in to kiss him, softly, short and sweet. “I’m willing to give this a shot if you are.”

That one simple kiss had pretty much blown all rational thoughts from Ushijima’s mind. It was hard to grasp at all his well thought out arguments, let alone voice them.

“But … you don’t even like me. And … it’s dangerous.”

Oikawa was still so close. That didn’t really help Ushijima with regaining his composure. Almost absent-mindedly, Oikawa reached for his wrist, started drawing little patterns on the sensitive skin there. Ushijima reminded himself to keep breathing as Oikawa started talking.

“I don’t _dislike_ you. I thought you were an asshole for picking my favourite movie apart, but turns out it’s valid criticism. I wouldn’t have moved in with you if I honestly despised everything about you. You know that, right?” Oikawa looked up at him, having dropped all his usual bravado, nothing but painfully honest in that moment. Then, a mischievous little grin played on his face. “You can be kind of adorable if you try. And you’re a superhero. And you saved my life, twice. Sure, it’s weird that … you’re him. Or he’s you. But, yeah. I’m down to try this whole ‘us’ thing if you are.”

“But …”

“Is that all you can say anymore, Ushiwaka-chan?”, Oikawa asked, teasing him.  

“What do you want me to say?”, Ushijima shot back.

“A simple ‘yes’ would be enough.” Ushijima was still distracted by the patterns Oikawa was drawing on his wrist. “Stay here and let’s try this. And maybe keep me safe from the bad guys. Won’t be hard if we share a bed, eh?”

Oikawa’s eyebrow waggle was, by all means, absolutely ridiculous. But Ushijima was far too charmed by him, far too tempted to give in to the sweet promises to find it anything but endearing. Foolish, infuriating, beautiful Oikawa.

“But,” he breathed, just to spite him, and kissed the beginning of protest from his lips.

Oikawa reached up to lightly punch his shoulder in turn, then pulled him a bit closer.

By the time they parted, Oikawa’s lips were the loveliest shade of red, and his cheeks were dusted with it.

“I take that as your dumb way of saying yes,” he grumbled.

“You’re right.”

“You’re not half as charming as you think.”

“Oh? Should I put the suit back on? As far as I know Captain Titanium is ‘charming’ and ‘reliable’ and ‘attractive’ to you. There’s quite a few other words you used for him, I think.” Oikawa gaped at him for a second, obviously feeling betrayed beyond reason. It was quite satisfying to see him so flustered, yet fighting for his composure. “Oh, shut up, you asshole. I’m reconsidering the whole dating thing!”

“Then I should definitely put the suit back on.”

Oikawa groaned, and Ushijima allowed himself to give in to his impulse from far before, pulling Oikawa into a simple hug. He smelled like soap and the barest hint of disinfectant from the hospital, and underneath like something else, something Ushijima couldn’t wait to get to know better.

“It’s gonna be dangerous,” he whispered into his hair.

“I know. But I trust you, okay? I sorta took the first step into this lion’s den. It’s good to be backed up by the saviour of the city, though.” Ushijima simply nodded, his eyes closed, just holding him close. Reality was out there, lurking and waiting. The most dangerous organisation had their eyes on Oikawa. By all means, his luck could be taken from him any second. But still … it was his luck. Right here, right now, Oikawa was in his arms.

“Hey,” the other man said after a while. “How about a little less brooding? It’s not like we’re dead yet. How about ordering pizza and watching Captain Titanium again?”

“Oh, hell no,” was Ushijima’s immediate reaction. He didn’t even have to think about that one.

“Oh hell yes! C’mon! You gotta tell me every single thing wrong with it. I wanna know everything!”

“If I start I literally won’t shut up. I swear they couldn’t have gotten more wrong if they tried.”

Oikawa laughed, the most beautiful sound in the world. “That’s why it’s gonna be so hilarious!”

  


Oikawa did get his will, busy eating his pizza and laughing along while Ushijima didn’t find the time to eat while narrating the horrible mistakes of the movie.

Only this time, when Captain Titanium kissed his love interest on the screen, Ushijima reached out and kissed Oikawa, and then neither of them paid attention anymore to the horrible ending of the horrible movie.

(At least until Captain Titanium on screen said ‘I do what’s necessary’, and Ushijima just couldn't get out of him why Oikawa wouldn't stop laughing into his shoulder like a hysteric hyena. His only answer was ‘Ask Iwa-chan’.) 

**Author's Note:**

> Tendou brings condoms along when he returns the suit. Ushijima is Not Amused.


End file.
